Oldie But Funny
#1
A Caravan driver is pulled over by a Garda on the N3 from Dublin on his way home. The Garda approaches the driver's door.
"Is there a problem Garda ?"
The Garda says, "Sir, you were speeding. Can I see your license please?"
The driver responds, "I'd give it to you but I don't have one."
"You don't have one?"
The Cavan man responds, "I lost it four times for drink driving."
The Garda is shocked. "I see. Can I see your vehicle registration papers please?"
"I'm sorry, I can't do that."
The Garda says, "Why not?"
"I stole this car."
The Garda says, "Stole it?"
The man says, "Yes, and I killed the owner."
At this point the Garda is getting irate. "You what!?"
"She's in the boot if you want to see."
The Garda looks at the man and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes, five Garda cars show up, surrounding the car. A senior Garda from the serious crimes squad slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
The senior Garda says "Sir, could you step out of your vehicle please!"
The man steps out of his vehicle. "Is there a problem Garda ?"
"One of my men told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner."
"Murdered the owner?"
The Garda responds, "Yes, could you please open the boot of your car please?"
The man opens the boot, revealing nothing but an empty boot.
The Garda says, "Is this your car sir?"
The man says "Yes," and hands over the registration papers.
The Garda, understandably, is quite stunned. "One of my Garda claims that you do not have a driving licence."
The man digs in his pocket revealing a wallet and hands it to the Garda. The Garda opens the wallet and examines the license.
He looks quite puzzled. "Thank you sir, one of my Gardas told me you didn't have a license, stole this car, and murdered the owner."
The man replies, "I bet you the lying b#%$€¥d told you I was speeding, too!"
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